Assist Children through Family Separation

What is A.C.T. – For the Children? (Assisting Children Through Transition)

A.C.T. – For the Children is a program designed to educate parents about the impact of their divorce, separation or breakup on their children. The primary goal of the program is to teach parents ways they can reduce the stress of family changes and protect their children from the negative effects of ongoing parental conflict.

FEEDBACK FROM PARENTS WHO COMPLETED THE CLASS: 

“It’s amazing, the change. We communicate a lot better now,”  

“This program changed our lives. It gave us all a new direction…one of hope and healing. I see too many people oozing with anger…I don’t want to go there anymore.”

“It’s an enlightening experience for anyone going through a separation.”

 A child whose parents attended A.C.T. said, “I can see a big difference. They can talk to each other now without yelling. That helps a lot. My stomach doesn’t hurt as much and I can concentrate better in school”

IS THIS PROGRAM FOR EVERYONE?

You may be required to attend this class if you are the parent of a child under the age of eighteen and are involved in a custody, visitation, divorce, separation, annulment or child support court action or proceeding.

Please note that the Parent A.C.T. Class may not be appropriate when domestic abuse is present. If you are involved with an abusive partner, you should leave a message for the A.C.T. Program Administrator at (718) 947-4048 for further information.

This class is also open to parents interested in learning conflict management skills for improving family dynamics.  You don’t have to be involved in court proceedings.

 Please note, you will not be placed in the same class as your ex-partner.

WHAT IS THE PROGRAM FORMAT?

The 6-hour program features lecture, video and group activities. Classes are limited to 30 participants. This program does not provide counseling or support services.. 

Participants receive the Parents’ Handbook and the Parent’s Resource Guide which contains materials, articles, and a listing of sites for help and support for parents and children.

Classes are offered monthly by psychologists, family therapists, social workers, judges, lawyers and mediators. Information on class dates, times and location will be provided at the time of intake and registration.

 

IS THERE A FEE FOR THE PROGRAM?

• The program fee is $100.
• A sliding-scale discount based upon income is available for eligible clients. Eligibility will be determined at intake.
• Acceptable methods of payment are cash, money order, or a credit card using our online Paypal link.

WHAT ARE THE ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENTS?

• Pre-registration is required for all classes and walk-ins are not accepted.
• If you need a Certificate of Compliance, you must attend the full 6 hours.
• If you are unable to attend a class for which you have registered, you will need to re-register for another class.
• Children are not permitted to attend classes.

For more information or to register, please contact:

Parents Assisting Children Through Transition
NY Center for Interpersonal Development
ACT Program Administrator
130 Stuyvesant Place, 4th Floor
Staten Island, NY 10301
Tel: (718) 947-4048 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            (718) 947-4048      end_of_the_skype_highlighting 

When Co-Parenting, Kids Come First

Staten Island Advance/Hilton FloresAnthony Altobelli, in the background, poses with three of his four children, Lauren, 19, Anthony, 6, Christopher, 8. Newly divorced, the South Beach resident praises the Parent Assisting Children Through Transition course for teaching him to help his children adjust to a new life.

It’s easy to have tunnel vision when going through a divorce, getting wrapped up in who gets what and letting anger and despair color perceptions.

But when parents get swept up in their own drama, their judgment becomes clouded and they inadvertently neglect the most important part of the equation — their children, who are likely to have the toughest time dealing with the breakup of the family.

A state-run and monitored program helps divorcing/separating couples understand the devastating impact a divorce can have on kids and provide ways to diminish negative side effects.

Parent Assisting Children Through Transition, created by the New York Center for Interpersonal Development in 2006, provides a framework for reducing conflict, strengthening parent-child relationships and fostering children’s healthy development.

Though the majority of parents who participate in the six-hour course have been ordered by the judge presiding over their divorce to attend, those who wish to improve family dynamics and master new parenting skills can register, too.

Acting Supreme Court Justice Barbara Panepinto, who has handled thousands of divorce cases, says she usually sends couples to the course “when there is a disagreement about parenting” — i.e., a conflict over custody and visitation or, as the courts call it today, “parental access.”

HIGH PRAISE FOR COURSE

Anthony Altobelli, right with his 16-year-old son, Salvatore. 

The 50-year-old South Beach resident credits a course 

for helping him and his family cope with his divorce.

Anthony Altobelli says he’s blown away with what he learned in the course, so much so that he is determined to get the word out about the benefits.

“It’s an enlightening experience for anyone going through a separation,” the South Beach resident enthused.

The 50-year-old father of four admits he initially was reluctant to attend, but by the end of the class he felt revitalized. Altobelli believes the program gives people a blueprint “in how to rebuild your life and move forward.”

Though Altobelli says he “spends a lot of time” with his kids during the week — he explains he shares custody with his ex and is a manager and coach of his two youngest sons’ Little League teams — the course was a lesson in “how to put yourself second and your children first.”

He says he also learned how he and his ex-wife can handle joint celebrations like birthdays and holidays.

A Richmond mother, who wishes to remain anonymous due to the contentious nature of her divorce, says the class helped her to establish strategies to avoid conflict with her ex as well as understand what her children are going through.

“I know my son is stressed,” she says, confiding lately the 5-year-old has become a bit defiant, while her 13-year-old daughter has been struggling at school.

“That’s their way of acting out. They’re hurting inside,” she says. As she learned in the program, they struggle with articulating their feelings.

Nancy Nybergh, an instructor of the class and a licensed psychoanalyst who works for the city Department of Education, warns that the “level of conflict [between divorcing spouses] can have a huge impact on children’s success in life.”

Things like portraying a co-parent in a negative light or having heated arguments in front of the kids can have detrimental psychological effects on them.

To help co-parents avoid these destructive behaviors, Ms. Nybergh teaches them how to manage their anger, recognizing their triggers and identifying techniques to cope with it.

She also tries getting parents to identify with what their children may be experiencing, like believing the split somehow is their fault and wishing Mom and Dad will get back together.

“Once parents are aware of these things, they usually have empathy for their children,” she says.

Additionally, the course demonstrates to parents they are not alone in this difficult transition.

Notes Ms. Nybergh, “It has a normalizing effect as they process the emotions that come from divorce, such as grief and loss.”

HONING COMMUNICATION SKILLS

The psychoanalyst also works with parents in boosting their communication skills, teaching them how to paraphrase what the other person says to show they’re listening, and the importance of “I,” as opposed to “you” statements. Such as: “I get annoyed when you’re late dropping Johnny off — not “You’re always late dropping Johnny off,” which puts the other person on the defensive.

Altobelli says the class made him realize the importance of using these techniques, motivating him to “choose [his] words more carefully” and “think before [he] spoke.”

They have been especially effective strategies with his kids, he says, noting he now understands more fully what they are experiencing.

“It’s amazing, the change. We communicate a lot better now,” he says, adding it has led to other positive changes.

“You know these things in the back of mind, but the course really hit it all home,” he concludes.

By Elise G. McIntosh/Staten Island Advance. Published: Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Elise McIntosh, editor of the Relationships section, may be reached at mcintosh@siadvance.com.

© 2012 SILive.com. All rights reserved.

GPS students at Port Richmond H.S. help deliver turkeys for Thanksgiving

Not every family can afford a Thanksgiving with all the fixings, but this year the 110 members of New York Center for Interpersonal Development's Graduate, Prepare, Succeed (GPS) program at Port Richmond H.S. made sure each student had a delicious meal to share with their family.

Students packaged turkeys and all the fixings (which were were generously donated by North Shore Rotary Club, ShopRite of Staten Island and UFCW Local 1500) and assisted NYCID staff in making deliveries to the homes of their fellow classmates.

This experience was most rewarding and surprising to both staff and students as we witnessed and experienced the compassion, cohesion and community among GPS members. In addition, this opportunity enlightened and educated students about the need within their community.

Service learning promotes pride, esteem and worth to all individuals involved.  There are three key benefits to service learning:

1. It builds positive school community
2. It teaches students to respect themselves and others more, and 
3. It changes the misperceptions students may have for their peers. 

Family involvement is essential for our program to thrive and to affect change in our students’ lives. Adolescence is a pivotal time when identity and individuality is molded by influence. We believe this process enriched and positively influenced both the families who were thankful in receiving, and the students who were more than willing to give of themselves.

(Read more about the GPS and Advantage After-School programs at Port Richmond H.S. here.)

The Bach Family: Raising Young Philanthropists:

Nine year-old Henry Bach (who participates in our After-School Enrichment Program at P.S. 30 along with his sister Madelyn) pledged $100 to NYCID at our Annual Benefit this past June.  We were so impressed with both Henry and his sister Madelyn's generosity that we asked them, and their father Ken, to share their stories with us.

Henry

How old are you & what grade are you in?  I'm nine and I'm in fourth grade.

What activities do you participate in through NYCID’s After-School Program?  I did fencing and Legos. Legos was kind of boring because it wasn't really Legos and fencing was awesome. I got to sword fight with some of my best friends and learned that fencing is a lot like light sabers. 

What are your favorite hobbies/subjects?  My favorite hobbies include basketball and baseball. My favorite subject is social studies because we get to learn about presidents and do interesting research on them. 

How did you raise the money you donated?  I've made lemonade stands with my sister and I save my birthday money. If my dad offers me $5 to spend at the dollar store, I usually only spend one or two. 

Why did you want to donate? What inspired you to want to give to NYCID?  I wanted to donate because my dad works with people at NYCID and it helps my school. It helps me make friends in the programs.  I want to compliment Dominick and the man from Camelot on how nice they were. 

What do you hope the money you donated will accomplish?  I hope the money makes more programs to help more people and make them happy. I hope it keeps people out of hobo shelters. Giving the money makes me a better person. 

Madelyn made the winning bid on the silent auction item for a party at the Staten Island Zoo

How old are you & what grade are you in?  I am ten years old and I'm in fifth grade.

Madelyn Bach

What activities do you participate in through NYCID’s After-School Program?  When I was in fourth grade I participated in the drama program. It was fun because I made new friends. Also we did fun exercises. I learned “Bruno the Bear sits in the sun munching lots of honey buns.”  We had to say it in a funny voice to exercise our voices.

What are your favorite hobbies/subjects?  I like to sing and dance. My favorite subject is PE because you're sitting in a classroom all day and you get to exercise and hang out with your friends. I like art class because you learn about artists and you learn how to paint.

How did you raise the money you donated?  My friend and I sold lemonade from her front yard to the neighborhood and some really annoying and gross kids. But money is money! I also save my money from my birthday.

Why did you want to donate? What inspired you to want to give to NYCID?  I donated money because I wanted to help support the program and help families in trouble and because I really wanted a Zoo party.

What do you hope the money you donated will accomplish?  I hope the money I donated can help people.

Their Father, Ken Bach, Shares His Perspective

How did you teach your children about charitable giving? Leadership by example is more than a catchphrase on a motivational poster. Children are amazing.  They learn from every clue around them.  I haven’t taught them about charitable giving – they have learned by what we do.

Through Rotary, I have been giving back to the community for many years.  My children ask about Rotary and where I am going. I always tell them, “I am going out to change the world!”  Later, as we drive around the island, I show them where we’ve served holiday meals to the homeless, where we assembled turkey baskets and the neighborhoods we deliver to, and the parks that we help maintain.  This year, they are both eager to join me on these and other projects. 

Often we get, “Why do we need a babysitter again tonight?” Well, a frequent response begins with “Because Mommy and Daddy are going to a fundraiser.”  We let them know the goal might be to help raise scholarships for really smart students who can’t afford college or the local Boy Scout troop or children with autism.  When they heard we were attending the NYCID event, and that it was the organization that ran the after-school programs that touched their lives, there was no keeping them away.

Ken and Henry Bach

Were you surprised by Madelyn & Henry’s actions at our benefit? I was surprised at how comfortable they felt at the event, and that Henry actually chose to wear a button down shirt without being asked.  Madelyn was intrigued by the silent auction items, and I was proud that she came to us and informed us that she wrote her name on the item of her choice.  We approved her bid amount and she was amazed she won, especially since Mom and Dad won nothing.

And yes, I was shocked by Henry’s energetic and unanticipated hand raising at the $1,000 challenge request, amused at his persistence down the scale, and proud of his $100 contribution.  They still talk about the event, further spreading the culture of giving with their friends.   

Do you talk with them about people that need help? Given my job, family activities and our community, there are always conversations.  Part of parenting is helping the children to make sense of the millions of clues they need to assimilate.  It is important my children acknowledge they may not have as many material goods as some, but that they do have more than many.  They know when to accept help and when to provide help.  

Is this the first time they’ve made charitable contributions?  Henry and Madelyn have a long history of compassion and giving back, although this was the first time in such a sophisticated setting.  While attending elementary school in upstate NY, Madelyn hosted a web-based TV show where she interviewed the administration and staff.  She was honored by the City of Kingston for her artwork, which was later placed into a gallery that helped raise awareness of the dangers of swimming after the unfortunate drowning of an eight-year-old.  Madelyn and Henry also organized sledding parties where kids brought new, wrapped toys that we delivered to local children in need.   Recently, Madelyn hosted a lemonade stand to raise money for her CYO basketball team, and they both want to volunteer for the Parks Department.

Do you have any advice for others?  As you enjoy the company of friends, remember those who are lonely.  As you embrace your family, remember those who are in conflict.  As you sit down to dinner, remember those without a meal.  Donate and help make a difference.  Volunteer and change a life. You may be surprised that the life that most benefits from the change is your own.   

Is there anything else you would like to share?  NYCID’s outreach programs provide a rich after-school curriculum to help expand a child’s horizons for working and stay-at-home parents, and their conflict management programs help people learn how to emerge victorious from a seemingly hopeless situation.

Also, walk the Greenbelt. Look at the nighttime sky. Relearning our place in the universe is a great way to put our existence into context.

Do you have some suggestions about how to grow young philanthropists? Please share them in the comments below.

Developing the Habit of Philanthropy in Children

Here are some additional resources for helping to teach children about philanthropy:

• 10 Great Philanthropists Who Are Kids

You'll love these young philanthropists. They will inspire you, as they have inspired us.

Here's one of our favorites, #3 Timothy Hwang and Minsoo Han:

In 2007, Timothy Hwang and Minsoo Han started Operation Fly, when they were only 14 years old. Their non-profit business offers cut-rate tutoring services to inner city students, and then uses the revenues to distribute blankets, clothing and soap to Washington D.C.’s homeless. Their organization has since spread to five cities, involves over 800 volunteers and is entirely student-run. For his efforts, Ernst & Young and Junior Achievement named Timothy Hwang the 2009 Youth Entrepreneur of the Year for the Greater Washington Region. 

Here are some additional links.

• Learning to Give


• Talk About Giving


• Charity: How to Teach Your Kids To Give
  From CBS Money Watch
  


• 9 Ways to Teach Your Child About Charity
  From Parents Magazine


• Not Your Parents’ Money Book
  By Jean Chatzky of the Today Show 


• Five Great Ways to Teach Your Child About Philanthropy
  


• 65 Easy Ways For Kids to Make A Difference!
  By HandsOn Network’s blog


• Pennies for Elephants – How to raise budding philanthropists


• We Give Books Poll on Reading and Giving
  By the Pearson Foundation
  

NYCID Summer Camp at the SI School for Civic Leadership

NYCID 2011 Summer Camp Flyer

Co-Parents Need To Learn How To Share

Reprinted from the SI Advance.

Co-parents need to learn how to share
By: Elise G. McIntosh

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s — they can be a landmine for co-parents to navigate. Just-divorced exes, not yet settled into a co-parenting groove, especially may struggle with ironing out who will get the kids during the holidays and other issues that crop up.

Sequoia Stalder and Cara Raich, partners at Stalder Raich, a Manhattan-based family and divorce mediation firm, say the key to co-parenting during the holiday season — anytime, really — is plenty of planning and communication.

Stalder, who also serves as the director of Conflict Resolution Services at New York Center for Interpersonal Development in St. George, suggests co-parents speak about the holidays well in advance so everyone — including the kids — has clear expectations about what’s going to happen on those days.

When making arrangements, he suggested co-parents have the conversation close enough to the holiday to have a realistic idea about plans but far enough to make modifications, if need be.

“It differs for each family,” he said, but generally planning six to eight weeks before the holiday works well.

Stalder also said having a yearly holiday plan in place — while still remaining flexible for the surprises that inevitably come up — can help reduce stress and aggravation.

Ms. Raich noted many co-parents they have counseled alternate having the children for the holidays.

Each family has to decide which method works best for them, but one system that works well is switching according to the calendar year. For instance, Dad gets the kids for Christmas during years that end in even numbers while Mom has them during odd-numbered years.

Ms. Raich says it also is helpful for co-parents to view the holidays as a block of time that can be divided up. Christmas, for example, may be broken up into eve, morning and night, giving kids the opportunity to spend a portion of the holiday with both Mom and Dad.

Co-parents also should discuss the logistics of picking up and dropping off the children during the planning stages, said Ms. Raich.

“Be as specific as you can,” she said, explaining, “Discussing the small details can help in diffusing conflict.”

Flexibility and a forgiving attitude also go a long way. If your ex is late or suddenly makes a change to the plans, “try not to access the angry place first,” said Ms. Raich.

Rather, she encourages an ex-spouse to see it from his/her co-parent’s perspective and try to understand why he or she needed to revise the plan.

When picking up/dropping off the kids to/from a holiday celebration, avoid having an involved conversation with your ex.

“This is not the time to have a substantial talk,” Ms. Raich said.

Stalder said co-parents need to be mindful of their communication. If a hostile tone starts creeping into the conversation, make sure the kids aren’t within earshot.

“You don’t want to expose them to your conflict,” he explained, noting it can do damage, emotionally.

To avoid getting into a heated discussion, Stalder recommends “I” messages.

“Focus on your feelings versus accusations,” he said. “Really try to express what’s important to you rather than blaming the other side.”

If tensions between you and your ex continue to flare, it may be prudent to have a consultation with a mediator like Stalder and Ms. Raich, who work with co-parents in reaching mutually beneficial solutions.

The New York Center for Interpersonal Development also has a family mediation program that helps divorcing spouses deal with custody and visitation issues. The services are free to Staten Islanders. To learn more, call (718) 815-4557 and ask for the Mediation Center or visit nycid.org.

Updates from the NY Center Training Institute

How do we keep busy at the Training Institute? Here are a few of the things we've been up to lately.

On September 1^st & 2^nd , Sequoia Stalder, Director of the CDRC & the Training Institute, trained 15 staff members from Olympus Academy, the transfer high school NYCID operates in collaboration with the DOE, in conflict resolution techniques. Participants gave the training high marks. One advocate counselor stated, “ I feel as though my classroom management skills will be improved with this knowledge”. All staff were very enthusiastic about using these conflict resolution skills back at school with their students.

In July 2009, The Training Institute lead two work readiness workshops with 17 Olympus Academy students, helping them to be successful in their summer jobs by learning new communication, time management and decision making skills.]

Since July 2008, 200 parents have attended the Parent ACT Class – Assisting Children through Transition. This is a 6-hour state mandated class where parents who are going through a divorce or separation learn new skills to manage conflict and support their children through this challenging period. Parents have stated that attending this class has given them hope and a new way to look at their difficult situation. Classes are taught monthly and advance registration is required. Our schedule for the remainder of 2009 is: September 26, October 14 & 21, November 14, December 1 and 8. The 2010 class schedule will be announced shortly.

In June 2009, the Training Institute completed their first school year of working with the Gaynor McCown Expeditionary Learning High School, training staff and students to conduct and manage a Peer Mediation program. The Training Institute provided over 50 hours of trainings, support sessions and skill-building workshops to 16 students and 6 staff members over the 2008 – 2009 school year. McCown High School is a new school on Staten Island, which opened its doors in August 2008.

In August 2009, the Training Institute Collaborated with Safe Horizon to provide leadership workshops to students in the Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) at Truman & Lehman High Schools in the Bronx.

Over the course of the 2008 – 2009 school year, the Training Institute provided the McKee High School staff & students with the following Workshop Series: Peer-To-Peer Public Speaking Program & Peace Power Conflict Resolution Workshops for peer mediators; Peace Power Conflict Resolution Workshops for students in jeopardy of truancy, detention and suspension.

If you are interested in having the NY Center Training Institute customize training for your school or organization, contact Regina Shields.

How to talk with teens about current events

Image by Slaff via Flickr

Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, or employer, we encourage you to talk with the teens you know about current events.

· BUILD IN TIME TO TALK together about world events frequently. News about war, terrorism, the economy, politics and natural disasters is everywhere. They need a chance to make sense of what they hear. President Kennedy’s father held a daily discussion of current events at the dinner table.

· ASK WHAT THEY’RE HEARING FROM OTHERS – sometimes that’s an easier place to start. Correct inaccurate information, or research issues together on the internet.

· CONNECT THE ISSUES TO PEOPLE THEY KNOW -- Who has lost their job? Who is serving in Iraq? Or, how could this effect people we know? Teens master abstract issues by connecting them to their own lives.

· SHARE YOUR PLAN FOR COPING, if the impact is on you and your family. Have a plan teens can participate in. Whether it’s a plan for how to connect with family in a catastrophe or how the family will cut expenses to deal with the economic changes, teens need a role.

· BE AWARE OF THE IMPACT ADULTS CONVERSATIONS MAY HAVE on teens and children who overhear them. Give them a chance to participate in the discussion then, or in a follow up conversation later.

· EXPLORE THE PROS AND CONS OF MANY POINTS OF VIEW. Learning to think for yourself requires trying ideas on for size and accepting or rejecting them in whole or in part.

· ACT AS A MODEL FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Always show respect for differing views, including theirs. You know you’re being respectful if your teen can have a different point of view without you trying to “win” the conversation as though it were a debate. Acknowledge that in a democracy like the US people can have strong and differing opinions about momentous events.

For more information about how to talk with teens about difficult topics, check out these sites:

Kiplinger.com Talking to Teens About the Financial Crisis

Tips for Parents/Teachers/Emergency Response workers for talking about Traumatic Events – links to a number of articles



Coping with Traumatic Events: Parent Guidelines for Talking with Teenagers about War and Terrorism from SAMHSA’s National Mental Health Information Center

We're Thinking About Rituals

May and June bring Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, graduations and other school transitions, anniversaries, Memorial Day, and summer vacation. It’s a time of endings and beginnings. And, that’s one of the times when celebrations and rituals are especially important.

So, we're thinking about rituals and celebrations. What are our rituals and why do we do them? Family rituals. Rituals in our organization, and rituals in our programs.

Please share some of your rituals.

Reflecting on Our Mothers

At the NY Center we use holidays as a time for reflection, especially in our youth program. Here are some of the thoughts Mother’s Day stimulated this year.

From the Young Adult Borough Center (our alternative high school):

Sasha Webb believes that this is the first time her mother has truly had faith in her. Her mom has always expected the world of her. But now, she believes in her because Sasha is focused on graduating. Sasha said “She knows I got it in me now. And she’s proud because I’ll be the first of my brothers and sisters to graduate high school.”

Joseph Donovan feels that the YABC was the best thing he could have done for his relationship with him parents – but particularly his mother. “Mom’s not constantly upset with me anymore. She’s not taking calls from my school any more either. And, that makes our day to day life much easier. Also, she believes now, more than ever, that I am going to graduate.”

Erica Reems says: “My mom knows I am focused on going to college now which is her dream for me. The pressure is off both of us because of the new direction my life has taken. We actually talk about the future instead of arguing about whether or not I am doing all that I can.”

Ashaye Taitt feels that that the YABC has opened up her relationship with her mother. “It used to be that I would hide them – but now – I show her all my Report Cards! Mom even promises to buy me a car for graduation!”

Each of these kids agreed that their relationships with their mothers are all better off now that they come to school and pass their classes. It seems that it’s a two way street for them.

From McKee After 3 (our after school program at McKee High School)

By: Torrick Allums
My Auntie, AKA my mother, helps me with school by telling me what I need to do in school and to be the best kid I can be in my life. She is the best mother that I have. She is the mother I have always wished for in my life. She will always tell me what I need to do better in my school work and homework. I will tell her thank you for all you have done for me and I love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much.

By: Tyler Wright
My mom has helped me be successful in school by making sure I do my homework every night and helping me with it. Also, every night, my mom tells me to read an article out of the newspaper so I can keep up with current events.

My mom has helped me be successful in life by making sure I do good in school, don't hang around the wrong people, don't get into trouble, telling me to be home at a certain time and, most of all, to always have good manners because manners carry you a far way.

My mom is a good mom because she buys me things that I want and need. She cooks for me. She helps me do good in school and helps me out when I am in trouble.

Photo by Sir Wise Owl

Tell Congress: Abstinence-Only Too Limiting

Urgent Action Needed!

Tell Congress to vote NO on abstinence-only funding increases.

---

Conservatives in Congress want to continue pumping millions of dollars into harmful abstinence-only-until-marriage programs despite the fact that these programs don't work.

As early as today, conservative Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) plans to introduce an amendment to the Senate Labor-HHS Appropriations bill to increase funding for the Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE) program, the largest and worst abstinence-only-until-marriage program.

Please contact your Senators today and tell them to vote NO on the Brownback amendment!!!

Young people's health and lives are at risk. They need the facts!!

• The United States has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the developed world.
• Young people in the U.S. are also at high risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV.
• Abstinence-only programs are prohibited, by law, from talking about contraceptives EXCEPT to discuss their failure rates.
• A 10-year congressionally mandated study of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs proved once and for all that these programs don't work.

Young people deserve the truth. Take Action Today!!

Please contact your Senator today and tell them to oppose the Oppose the Brownback Amendment.

Teaching mediation skills to parents helps siblings resolve conflicts

Here's a press release that suggests additional services that mediation centers can offer --

"Children whose parents were trained in mediation skills had better conflict-resolution skills than those whose parents did not receive training. That's the finding of a new study conducted by researchers at the University of Waterloo in Ontario and published in the May/June 2007 issue of the journal Child Development.

The study examined the effects of parents' mediation of sibling conflicts on children's conflict understanding and resolution skills. Mediation is a conflict management technique in which a neutral third party (in this case, the parent) intervenes in a conflict to help the people in the dispute reach a mutually satisfactory solution."

Read more, including the long-term benefits: Teaching mediation skills to parents helps siblings resolve conflicts

Photo by Mandus

Keeping Children Busy

When I was a kid, my mother believed that if I stayed busy enough after school I'd stay out of trouble. Her strategy worked most of the time. And, SAMHSA just released a paper supporting her approach.

They found that, regardless of income level, youth who participated in school-based, community-based, church or faith-based, or other activities had lower rates of cigarette, alcohol, or illicit drug use than those who did not participate. And the more activity, the lower the usage rate.

For example, the rates of illicit drug use were 18.3% for youth who participated in no such activities, 11.9% for those with 1-3 activities, 9.4% for 4-6 activities, and 6.8% for 7 or more youth activities in the past year.

Unfortunately, youth from families with lower income participated in activities at a lower rate than others. So a successful strategy for reducing substance abuse among youth from low income families would include access to out of school activities. That underscores the importance of expanding low and no-cost after school activities for all children.

This Short Report, The NSDUH Report: Youth Activities, Substance Use, and Family Income, is based on SAMHSA's National Survey on Drug Use and Health, conducted by the Office of Applied Studies (OAS) in the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). SAMHSA's National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) is the primary source of information on the prevalence, patterns, and consequences of drug and alcohol use and abuse in the general U.S. civilian non institutionalized population, age 12 and older. The NSDUH also provides estimates for drug use by State.

Photo by PlasticRevolver

Preventing Drug Abuse among Children and Adolescents

If you have children, or work with children, you should take a look at this updated publication from the National Institute on Drug Abuse. They offer both a brief pamphlet and a complete edition useful for program planning. Both are free for download.

Preventing Drug Abuse among Children and Adolescents

"This In Brief Web edition provides highlights from the Preventing Drug Use among Children and Adolescents: A Research-Based Guide for Parents, Educators, and Community Leaders, Second Edition booklet. It presents the updated prevention principles, an overview of program planning, and critical first steps for those learning about prevention."Preventing Drug Abuse among Children and Adolescents - Index: