Olympus Academy Provides an Alternative Path to a Diploma

Students who have experienced a range of challenges at their current or past high school -- truancy, academic disconnect, peer issues and other problems -- often thrive at Olympus Academy.

Olympus Academy specifically serves NY City students 16-21 who are over-age and under-credited.  It’s a transfer school run by a partnership between the NY Center and the NY City Department of Education.

Our students benefit from extensive academic support as well as strong social emotional skills training that will prepare them for post-secondary life.   

Olympus Academy provides students a small-personalized school setting where students can get individual learning opportunities.  Students learn to work through paid internships and small-individualized advisory groups.

 

The school provides an accelerated credit model that combines traditional education with on-line curricula.  This blended learning model allows students to earn up to 18 credits a year. 

Students are rewarded for successes like credit accumulation, attendance, and on- the-job good behavior.  Rewards and incentives include tutoring, movie tickets, luncheons, and celebrations.

Olympus Academy operates from 9:15-3:25 pm during the school year.  We provide after-school tutoring, open gym for youth time and computer lab.

Recruitment and enrollment process and schedule

Staff welcomes new students year round.  They assess goals of both students and parents to determine whether there’s a good fit. 

For additional information contact

Dina Molina, Program Director

(718) 272-1926 ext. 1158

Dmolina@nycid.org

755 East 100^th Street (entrance located on 101^st street)

Brooklyn, NY 111236

Phone (718) 272-1926

Fax (718) 257-1700

Summer Fun at SISCL

For the third year in a row, campers spent a wonderful summer at our summer camp at the S.I. School of Civic Leadership (P.S. 861) that incorporates programming built on The 7 Habits of Happy Kids.

Take a look at the pictures below that ran in the Staten Island Advance. Wouldn't you like to be a kid again and attend next summer?

Friday, August 10, 2012 9:58 AM

SUMMER CAMP FUN: Summer campers at the New York Center for Interpersonal Development at the Staten Island School of Civic Leadership, a state-of-the-art, air-conditioned facility in Graniteville, engage in arts and crafts.

Friday, August 10, 2012 9:58 AM

MAGICAL DAY: A magician entertains campers at the New York Center for Interpersonal Development at the Staten Island School of Civic Leadership, Graniteville.

Friday, August 10, 2012 9:58 AM

SPRINKLER TIME: Campers enjoy some outdoor fun time in the sprinklers at the New York Center for Interpersonal Development at the Staten Island School of Civic Leadership in Graniteville.

ACE Program Participants 'Suit Up and Succeed'

'Suit Up and Succeed' aids unemployed on Staten Island

Published: Thursday, August 16, 2012, 11:08 AM
By Timothy Harrison/Staten Island Advance 

Staten Island Advance/Timothy HarrisonAngela D'Aiuto, executive director of the West Brighton Community Local Development Corporation, welcomes borough business owners and seven unemployed young adults to a Stapleton church for "Suit Up and Succeed."

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- “I don’t believe clothes make the man; I believe the man makes himself. But the clothes give the man the image, so I just like to look presentable to make sure my first impression is the best impression.”

That’s according to Christopher Sesay of Clifton, a 24-year-old aspiring entrepreneur, who was a beneficiary of Wednesday’s “Suit Up and Succeed.” Seven unemployed young adults received gently used or new business attire in the charitable program at a Stapleton church.

The concept was brought to Staten Island by Angela D’Aiuto, executive director of the West Brighton Community Local Development Corporation (LDC), who noted “high unemployment among young people, as well as adults,” in the borough.

Ms. D’Aiuto partnered with local businesses, including Victory State Bank, which held a two-month-long suit drive, and business owners, who donated other clothes, as well as the New York Center for Interpersonal Development’s Achievement in Career Education (ACE) program.

The ACE program provides business training and experience to 30 young adults, aged 16 to 24, in three annual 14-week cycles. The seven young adults who attended Wednesday were all enrolled in ACE.

Amy Lavelle, ACE’s business liaison, explained the program, which couples three weeks of skill-building workshops with an 11-week internship or entry-level job.

“After the 14 weeks are over, as long as [participants] complete the required amount of hours, then they get help from us to find either full-time employment, part-time employment, enroll in school or enlist in the military,” Ms. Lavelle added. 

ASPIRING ENTREPRENEUR 

Sesay, the aspiring entrepreneur, recently finished ACE’s skill-building workshops as part of the 14-week program and will start a paid internship Monday with Ms. D’Aiuto at the West Brighton LDC.

“I see myself giving back to the community. I want to help people in the community and help kids,” Sesay, who has been unemployed for two months, commented.

A graduate of Concord High School, Sesay enrolled in college for a semester but was forced to drop out, a result of financial constraints.

Sesay said he hopes one day to own his own business and his own property, but, he said, “I still need training and I still need guidance, and I hope to find that within the program.”

Sesay and his six classmates, four men and three women in total, had plenty to learn from the three business owners who volunteered as “personal shoppers” Wednesday afternoon.

One, Claire Guadagno, the owner of Handpicked Creations, a vintage resale shop in New Dorp, provided West Brighton LDC with its first major donation of business clothes.

“I’m very into helping women, empowering women,” Ms. Guadagno said. “I’m a single mother, who four years ago was waitressing, and now I’m ready to buy my second business.”

She added, “You have to believe in yourself, and you have to get around positive people.”

Ms. Guadagno was responsible for enlisting the support of Tottenville resident Carmela Schiano, a life coach who owns Live Free Coaching. The two of them will work together to open Total Drama, a new performing arts studio in New Dorp, later this year.

“I work especially with young girls without moms,” Ms. Schiano said.

A third local business owner, Irena Popilevsky of New Dorp, who owns Real Estate SINY, agreed to bring coffee and doughnuts after she was told of the event Wednesday.

All three women gave fashion tips and style advice to the underprivileged young adults. 

NEW SUIT 

Helena Simmons of New Brighton left the United Church of Praise on Sands Street with a new khaki suit that she said she would use at her internship with Neighborhood Housing Services of Staten Island, where she was recently hired.

“I’m actually really excited about the whole thing,” she said. “I’m trying to build up my independence and be an entrepreneur, so I’m trying to open up my own business.”

Ms. Simmons said she would use skills acquired in the ACE program and attempt to learn new skills in advertising and marketing when she starts Monday.

“Depending on how well I do in my internship, there’s a possibility for me to be hired permanently.”

The giveaway was hosted at the United Church of Praise International Ministries Church, where Senior Pastor Thomas Oliver Cletus, another appropriate model for the seven young adults, played host.

Cletus reported this was the first time his church had partnered with the West Brighton LDC to donate clothing, but said, “Our church has clothing that we normally give out to people of low income.

“As I go around the community I find out that people are no longer having a job,” he said. “They try to look for another job. Sometimes they don’t have money to buy nice clothes or shoes or a tie to go for an interview.”

The pastor, a native of Liberia, came to the United States in 2001 by way of Nigeria.

“When I got here to America, after six months, I was able to own a car, which is something I never dreamed in my life that was going to be possible,” he said.

© 2012 SILive.com. All rights reserved.

At the United Church of International Praise, Stapleton,
are from left, Deacon Sando S. Roberts, assisting Aaron Taylor,
a participant in NYCID's Achievement in Career & Education
(ACE) program. Taylor was at the church participating
in "Suit Up and Succeed," an initiative sponsored by
the West Brighton Community LDC (WBCLDC), Victory State Bank
and United Church of International Praise Ministries.
It aims to provide proper business attire, support and resources
to Staten Island's unemployed and young adults.
Roberts was pleased to show Taylor the correct way to knot a tie.

ACE Program's Young Adult Internship Program Graduates Honored

NY1 VIDEO: Several young adults are ready to take on new careers after graduating from the Achievement in Career and Education Program.

This year's YABC students are 'Stoked to Serve' their community

Twenty-two students from New York Center for Interpersonal Development's Young Adult Borough Center (YABC) participated in Stoked to Serve: Summer 2011 this past September.  Stoked to Serve - coordinated by Stoked and sponsored by the Quiksilver Foundation - strives to connect youth to their communities through service projects that beautify the urban environment, such as cleaning parks and beaches or improving community gardens.  This summer, they mobilized youth from all five boroughs of New York City to engage in community service projects, helping to clean up and rehabilitate parks and waterfronts.

This past September, YABC students helped clean up
Wolfe's Pond Park after Hurricane Irene hit NYC.

Originally, our students were scheduled to perform some basic clean up and light painting in Wolfe's Pond Park.  However, because they participated in the venture just after Hurricane Irene hit Staten Island, the project became a rigorous, heavy-lifting cleanup effort on a hot summer day at the beach.

All of the students who volunteered for the event were brand new to our program, and it was the first time our staff had the opportunity to engage them. The resulting turnout and the desire to help was astounding. Further, it provided us with an advocacy opportunity that we have never had before. Being out in the open, with our blood flowing and brows damp, allowed everyone to lay down their guards and get to know one another.

Check out the slideshow below for some additional photos of the clean up:

 

NYS Deputy Director of Civil Rights hosts live web chat Feb. 24 at 11 a.m., on new program for businesses and at-risk youth

Governor Andrew M. Cuomo signed the NY Youth Works Program into law on December 9, 2011, to encourage businesses to hire unemployed, disadvantaged youth.  New York State Deputy Secretary for Civil Rights Alphonso David will be hosting a live web chat this Friday, February 24, at 11 a.m. to introduce the program and answer everyone's (businesses, youth, parents, agencies, etc.) questions.

More about NY Youth Works
NY Youth Works is a statewide program to combat the unacceptably high unemployment rates among inner city youth in communities across New York. The new program includes $25 million in tax credits for businesses that hire unemployed and disadvantaged youth and $62 million to support job training programs.  (Click here to learn more about the NY Youth Works program.)

For Youth (Ages 16-24) – This program can help you get a job! Plus, you may earn up to $900 to cover your expenses if you get training from an authorized NY Youth Works provider. Click here for more details.

For Businesses – Your business can earn tax credits of up to $4,000 for eligible youth starting work between January 1, 2012 and July 1, 2012. Your business must be certified to participate in the program. The process is easy; click here for details.

Do you have questions about the program, and how it applies to you, your friends or your family? Click here to submit a question (and share on your facebook wall)!  You can visit this site on Friday at 11 a.m. to participate in the live chat.  A transcript of the chat will be posted online here after the chat.

New initiative at Port Richmond H.S. is keeping at-risk students on track

Student Jasmine Basabe, right, accepts
a perfect attendance award from Jen Quirk,
of NYCID's Graduate, Prepare, Succeed program.
(Photo courtesy of Port Richmond H.S.)

PORT RICHMOND - Keeping young people on track in school, focused on the goal of graduating with a high-school diploma, is the aim of a new program at Port Richmond High School.

Sponsored by New York Center for Interpersonal Development (NYCID) and United Way of New York City, the program has two components: Graduate, Prepare, Succeed (GPS) supports students during the school day, while Advantage offers after-school support.

"Both these programs are focused on giving the most at-risk students the resources and attention necessary to help them stay focused on their high school goals and ultimately their future path in life," said NYCID executive director Dominick Brancato.

The GPS average student attendance rate this year is about 90 percent; last year it was about 80 percent.

To read more, check out the article in today's Staten Island Advance: New initiative at Port Richmond High School is working and keeping at-risk students from slacking | SILive.com

GPS students at Port Richmond H.S. help deliver turkeys for Thanksgiving

Not every family can afford a Thanksgiving with all the fixings, but this year the 110 members of New York Center for Interpersonal Development's Graduate, Prepare, Succeed (GPS) program at Port Richmond H.S. made sure each student had a delicious meal to share with their family.

Students packaged turkeys and all the fixings (which were were generously donated by North Shore Rotary Club, ShopRite of Staten Island and UFCW Local 1500) and assisted NYCID staff in making deliveries to the homes of their fellow classmates.

This experience was most rewarding and surprising to both staff and students as we witnessed and experienced the compassion, cohesion and community among GPS members. In addition, this opportunity enlightened and educated students about the need within their community.

Service learning promotes pride, esteem and worth to all individuals involved.  There are three key benefits to service learning:

1. It builds positive school community
2. It teaches students to respect themselves and others more, and 
3. It changes the misperceptions students may have for their peers. 

Family involvement is essential for our program to thrive and to affect change in our students’ lives. Adolescence is a pivotal time when identity and individuality is molded by influence. We believe this process enriched and positively influenced both the families who were thankful in receiving, and the students who were more than willing to give of themselves.

(Read more about the GPS and Advantage After-School programs at Port Richmond H.S. here.)

The Bach Family: Raising Young Philanthropists:

Nine year-old Henry Bach (who participates in our After-School Enrichment Program at P.S. 30 along with his sister Madelyn) pledged $100 to NYCID at our Annual Benefit this past June.  We were so impressed with both Henry and his sister Madelyn's generosity that we asked them, and their father Ken, to share their stories with us.

Henry

How old are you & what grade are you in?  I'm nine and I'm in fourth grade.

What activities do you participate in through NYCID’s After-School Program?  I did fencing and Legos. Legos was kind of boring because it wasn't really Legos and fencing was awesome. I got to sword fight with some of my best friends and learned that fencing is a lot like light sabers. 

What are your favorite hobbies/subjects?  My favorite hobbies include basketball and baseball. My favorite subject is social studies because we get to learn about presidents and do interesting research on them. 

How did you raise the money you donated?  I've made lemonade stands with my sister and I save my birthday money. If my dad offers me $5 to spend at the dollar store, I usually only spend one or two. 

Why did you want to donate? What inspired you to want to give to NYCID?  I wanted to donate because my dad works with people at NYCID and it helps my school. It helps me make friends in the programs.  I want to compliment Dominick and the man from Camelot on how nice they were. 

What do you hope the money you donated will accomplish?  I hope the money makes more programs to help more people and make them happy. I hope it keeps people out of hobo shelters. Giving the money makes me a better person. 

Madelyn made the winning bid on the silent auction item for a party at the Staten Island Zoo

How old are you & what grade are you in?  I am ten years old and I'm in fifth grade.

Madelyn Bach

What activities do you participate in through NYCID’s After-School Program?  When I was in fourth grade I participated in the drama program. It was fun because I made new friends. Also we did fun exercises. I learned “Bruno the Bear sits in the sun munching lots of honey buns.”  We had to say it in a funny voice to exercise our voices.

What are your favorite hobbies/subjects?  I like to sing and dance. My favorite subject is PE because you're sitting in a classroom all day and you get to exercise and hang out with your friends. I like art class because you learn about artists and you learn how to paint.

How did you raise the money you donated?  My friend and I sold lemonade from her front yard to the neighborhood and some really annoying and gross kids. But money is money! I also save my money from my birthday.

Why did you want to donate? What inspired you to want to give to NYCID?  I donated money because I wanted to help support the program and help families in trouble and because I really wanted a Zoo party.

What do you hope the money you donated will accomplish?  I hope the money I donated can help people.

Their Father, Ken Bach, Shares His Perspective

How did you teach your children about charitable giving? Leadership by example is more than a catchphrase on a motivational poster. Children are amazing.  They learn from every clue around them.  I haven’t taught them about charitable giving – they have learned by what we do.

Through Rotary, I have been giving back to the community for many years.  My children ask about Rotary and where I am going. I always tell them, “I am going out to change the world!”  Later, as we drive around the island, I show them where we’ve served holiday meals to the homeless, where we assembled turkey baskets and the neighborhoods we deliver to, and the parks that we help maintain.  This year, they are both eager to join me on these and other projects. 

Often we get, “Why do we need a babysitter again tonight?” Well, a frequent response begins with “Because Mommy and Daddy are going to a fundraiser.”  We let them know the goal might be to help raise scholarships for really smart students who can’t afford college or the local Boy Scout troop or children with autism.  When they heard we were attending the NYCID event, and that it was the organization that ran the after-school programs that touched their lives, there was no keeping them away.

Ken and Henry Bach

Were you surprised by Madelyn & Henry’s actions at our benefit? I was surprised at how comfortable they felt at the event, and that Henry actually chose to wear a button down shirt without being asked.  Madelyn was intrigued by the silent auction items, and I was proud that she came to us and informed us that she wrote her name on the item of her choice.  We approved her bid amount and she was amazed she won, especially since Mom and Dad won nothing.

And yes, I was shocked by Henry’s energetic and unanticipated hand raising at the $1,000 challenge request, amused at his persistence down the scale, and proud of his $100 contribution.  They still talk about the event, further spreading the culture of giving with their friends.   

Do you talk with them about people that need help? Given my job, family activities and our community, there are always conversations.  Part of parenting is helping the children to make sense of the millions of clues they need to assimilate.  It is important my children acknowledge they may not have as many material goods as some, but that they do have more than many.  They know when to accept help and when to provide help.  

Is this the first time they’ve made charitable contributions?  Henry and Madelyn have a long history of compassion and giving back, although this was the first time in such a sophisticated setting.  While attending elementary school in upstate NY, Madelyn hosted a web-based TV show where she interviewed the administration and staff.  She was honored by the City of Kingston for her artwork, which was later placed into a gallery that helped raise awareness of the dangers of swimming after the unfortunate drowning of an eight-year-old.  Madelyn and Henry also organized sledding parties where kids brought new, wrapped toys that we delivered to local children in need.   Recently, Madelyn hosted a lemonade stand to raise money for her CYO basketball team, and they both want to volunteer for the Parks Department.

Do you have any advice for others?  As you enjoy the company of friends, remember those who are lonely.  As you embrace your family, remember those who are in conflict.  As you sit down to dinner, remember those without a meal.  Donate and help make a difference.  Volunteer and change a life. You may be surprised that the life that most benefits from the change is your own.   

Is there anything else you would like to share?  NYCID’s outreach programs provide a rich after-school curriculum to help expand a child’s horizons for working and stay-at-home parents, and their conflict management programs help people learn how to emerge victorious from a seemingly hopeless situation.

Also, walk the Greenbelt. Look at the nighttime sky. Relearning our place in the universe is a great way to put our existence into context.

Do you have some suggestions about how to grow young philanthropists? Please share them in the comments below.

Developing the Habit of Philanthropy in Children

Here are some additional resources for helping to teach children about philanthropy:

• 10 Great Philanthropists Who Are Kids

You'll love these young philanthropists. They will inspire you, as they have inspired us.

Here's one of our favorites, #3 Timothy Hwang and Minsoo Han:

In 2007, Timothy Hwang and Minsoo Han started Operation Fly, when they were only 14 years old. Their non-profit business offers cut-rate tutoring services to inner city students, and then uses the revenues to distribute blankets, clothing and soap to Washington D.C.’s homeless. Their organization has since spread to five cities, involves over 800 volunteers and is entirely student-run. For his efforts, Ernst & Young and Junior Achievement named Timothy Hwang the 2009 Youth Entrepreneur of the Year for the Greater Washington Region. 

Here are some additional links.

• Learning to Give


• Talk About Giving


• Charity: How to Teach Your Kids To Give
  From CBS Money Watch
  


• 9 Ways to Teach Your Child About Charity
  From Parents Magazine


• Not Your Parents’ Money Book
  By Jean Chatzky of the Today Show 


• Five Great Ways to Teach Your Child About Philanthropy
  


• 65 Easy Ways For Kids to Make A Difference!
  By HandsOn Network’s blog


• Pennies for Elephants – How to raise budding philanthropists


• We Give Books Poll on Reading and Giving
  By the Pearson Foundation
  

Moving on...

In May of 2011 we said farewell to one of the Young Adult Borough Center (YABC)'s most dedicated advocates.

Joseph Skinner was a personal advocate on the YABC team since the inception of the Learning to Work Program in 2005.

Each day, Joseph brought to the table a myriad of skills and tools which helped him not just connect with students but to create long-lasting relationships.

When asked why he relentlessly made calls and home visits or climbed stairs night after night to counsel students, Joe would always say, "Someone reached out to me once and now I am giving back."

A normal occurrence at the YABC is to have young graduates returning to visit Joe to thank him for encouraging them to think about their choices enough to make the right decisions.

He is most definitely a mold that has been broken.

Joseph leaves us as he retires to enjoy his golden years.  He has begun volunteering as a counselor for young men and women coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan. 

--Michael DeVito, YABC Program Director 

Achievement in Career & Education (ACE) Program

Out of School?  Out of Work?  Out of Options?  NYCID Can Help!

NYCID's ACE Program, an out-of-school and disconnected youth program focused on vocational training and education, serves young people aged 16 - 24.  Eligible youth are those who:

• Dropped out of high school and are discharged OR graduated high school
• Are not working AND not in school
• Are motivated and ready to work!

Enrolled students are well trained and prepared for their future.  Higher education and full-time employment are goals highly sought after and reached by program graduates!  Eligible youth receive:

• Enrollment in GED Program (if necessary)
• Career Development Training
• Job Placement Assistance
• Opportunity to attain a Paid Internship
• Guidance Counseling and a Personal Advocate

ALL SERVICES AND TRAININGS ARE FREE!

Interested?  Contact Program Manager Deborah Green at (718) 947-4051 or Personal Advocate Prince Cobbina at (718) 947-4063.

Graduate, Prepare, Succeed (GPS) Program at Port Richmond H.S.

Helping Our Students Cross the Finish Line

A little more than 39% of New York City students who enter ninth grade each fall fail to graduate with their peers four years later.  Ninth grade serves as a key hurdle for many students who begin their freshman year only to find that their academic skills are insufficient for high school-level work.  This difficult transition, combined with lack of engagement, takes a terrible toll.

Last year, through a collaboration with United Way of NYC, we implemented Graduate, Prepare, Succeed (GPS) at Port Richmond H.S. - a robust and targeted dropout prevention program to ensure that young people achieve academic success.

Why join?

• The GPS Program helps students adjust to high school
• Students are rewarded for having good grades and good attendance
• Our FREE incentives [such as movie tickets, school supplies, bagel breakfasts, trips and more!] will help students stay motivated throughout their high school career

For more information, call (718) 815-8124 or visit our new blog.

Olympus Academy (located in Canarsie, Brooklyn)

A New Approach: A School Dedicated to Student Success

Olympus Academy currently has spaces available for Brooklyn students that are 16 - 21 years old and have fallen behind in credits.  We offer an accelerated credit program designed to help students earn credits at their own pace and paid internships to prepare them for life after high school.

If you know someone that's interested, please tell them to visit www.olympusacademy.org or call (718) 272-1926, ext. 1153 or 1158.

Young Adult Borough Center (YABC) at Tottenville H.S.

It's Not Too Late To Graduate!

In partnership with the NYC Department of Education, the Young Adult Borough Center (YABC), located at Tottenville High School, offers students in danger of dropping out a chance to make up their credits and earn a traditional high school diploma by providing them with a rigorous academic program, tutoring, supportive counseling services and career preparation trainings.

Students must:

• Be 17 ½ - 21 years of age
• Have at least 17 credits

The YABC also offers students an opportunity to work in professional paid internships, which in some cases can result in elective credit.

YABC students attend class Monday through Thursday from 4 - 8:30 p.m.

For more information, contact Program Director Michael DeVito at (718) 947-4065.

Congratulations to Dina Molina, Olympus Academy's new Program Director

Hi All:

I am very pleased to announce the promotion of Dina Molina to Program Director and Co-Leader of Olympus Academy. Dina has been with New York Center for Interpersonal Development (NYCID) since 2009 as an Advocate Counselor and most recently as Interim Program Director. She did this while working towards her Masters in Social Work, which she will receive this August from CUNY Hunter College.

Dina’s performance at Olympus Academy has been influential for NYCID’s excellent record of collaboration, problem solving and conflict resolution, and leadership. Dina is known for her ability to be a team player, overcome problems during challenging times and her engagement skills with students, parents and DOE administration and teachers.

The quality of dedication is very important for NYCID’s long term success. We look forward to Dina’s ability to achieve the highest standards at Olympus Academy in her new role as Director.

Congratulations, Dina!
Dominick


Dominick J. Brancato
Executive Director
New York Center for Interpersonal Development

Our thoughts and prayers are with our SISCL family

Dear Friends:

Most of the time we are running to do something, whether it’s to get to work, home, shopping, a report, etc. We all lead hectic lives and we teach our children to do the same. Last week, for one child in our Staten Island School of Civic Leadership School Program, this hustle and bustle lifestyle caused her to run for a bus on her way home from school and a truck hit her. This unfortunate accident resulted in her losing her life.

Upon reflection, there wasn't much any one of us could have done as she was hurrying to get home and begin her summer. She never looked to see oncoming traffic and just ran across the street. This incident makes me wonder about all the rushing around we do, never thinking, never stopping to just take a breath and look.

We give our deepest condolences to the family of Aniya Williams, the school, to her fellow students and teachers/administrators at the Staten Island School of Civic Leadership as well as our NYCID team working at SISCL. If there is any way in which you feel we could help, please let me know.

And most of all, if there is a lesson to be learned, I urge you all to take a moment to just pause and remember to breath, remember to watch, remember that nothing is more important than our lives and the lives of others.

-Dominick


Dominick J. Brancato
Executive Director
New York Center for Interpersonal Development

NYCID Summer Camp at the SI School for Civic Leadership

NYCID 2011 Summer Camp Flyer

Co-Parents Need To Learn How To Share

Reprinted from the SI Advance.

Co-parents need to learn how to share
By: Elise G. McIntosh

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s — they can be a landmine for co-parents to navigate. Just-divorced exes, not yet settled into a co-parenting groove, especially may struggle with ironing out who will get the kids during the holidays and other issues that crop up.

Sequoia Stalder and Cara Raich, partners at Stalder Raich, a Manhattan-based family and divorce mediation firm, say the key to co-parenting during the holiday season — anytime, really — is plenty of planning and communication.

Stalder, who also serves as the director of Conflict Resolution Services at New York Center for Interpersonal Development in St. George, suggests co-parents speak about the holidays well in advance so everyone — including the kids — has clear expectations about what’s going to happen on those days.

When making arrangements, he suggested co-parents have the conversation close enough to the holiday to have a realistic idea about plans but far enough to make modifications, if need be.

“It differs for each family,” he said, but generally planning six to eight weeks before the holiday works well.

Stalder also said having a yearly holiday plan in place — while still remaining flexible for the surprises that inevitably come up — can help reduce stress and aggravation.

Ms. Raich noted many co-parents they have counseled alternate having the children for the holidays.

Each family has to decide which method works best for them, but one system that works well is switching according to the calendar year. For instance, Dad gets the kids for Christmas during years that end in even numbers while Mom has them during odd-numbered years.

Ms. Raich says it also is helpful for co-parents to view the holidays as a block of time that can be divided up. Christmas, for example, may be broken up into eve, morning and night, giving kids the opportunity to spend a portion of the holiday with both Mom and Dad.

Co-parents also should discuss the logistics of picking up and dropping off the children during the planning stages, said Ms. Raich.

“Be as specific as you can,” she said, explaining, “Discussing the small details can help in diffusing conflict.”

Flexibility and a forgiving attitude also go a long way. If your ex is late or suddenly makes a change to the plans, “try not to access the angry place first,” said Ms. Raich.

Rather, she encourages an ex-spouse to see it from his/her co-parent’s perspective and try to understand why he or she needed to revise the plan.

When picking up/dropping off the kids to/from a holiday celebration, avoid having an involved conversation with your ex.

“This is not the time to have a substantial talk,” Ms. Raich said.

Stalder said co-parents need to be mindful of their communication. If a hostile tone starts creeping into the conversation, make sure the kids aren’t within earshot.

“You don’t want to expose them to your conflict,” he explained, noting it can do damage, emotionally.

To avoid getting into a heated discussion, Stalder recommends “I” messages.

“Focus on your feelings versus accusations,” he said. “Really try to express what’s important to you rather than blaming the other side.”

If tensions between you and your ex continue to flare, it may be prudent to have a consultation with a mediator like Stalder and Ms. Raich, who work with co-parents in reaching mutually beneficial solutions.

The New York Center for Interpersonal Development also has a family mediation program that helps divorcing spouses deal with custody and visitation issues. The services are free to Staten Islanders. To learn more, call (718) 815-4557 and ask for the Mediation Center or visit nycid.org.

Lost Generation

Have you seen this video, Lost Generation? Over 5million people have. 8600 took the time to give it five stars. 4500 people posted comments. Take a look.





This video by metroamv was created for the AARP U@50 video contest and placed second.

If you would like to see the reverse video political advertisement that inspired this video you can find it here